And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
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There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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