Just fell off a train. Bad.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
that is very illegal...i love you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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