You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She bit a glass in half.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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