I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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