yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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