Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize