He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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