): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize