I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
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I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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