I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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