they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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