Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
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sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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