i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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