OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize