I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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