fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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