There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize