I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
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i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize