Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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