Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize