we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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