i love accidental penises.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize