I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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