Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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