Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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