She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
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I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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