I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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