Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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