I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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