he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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