i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize