toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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