he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize