Are we in a gay sports bar?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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