cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize