my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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