Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you have feelings for this penis?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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