Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Never joke about your clitoris.
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