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moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Randomize
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