They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize