It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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