idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
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I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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