so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
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She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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