Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
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I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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