drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize