Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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