she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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