im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Even my vagina gasped.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize