office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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