So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
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You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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